"Song to a Waitress," by Aron Keesbury.
Yes. I want a big fat cup of coffee and
I want it hot. I want a big hot cup
of coffee in a big fat mug. And bring
it here and put it down and get the hell
away from me. And I want sugar in
a jar. A glass jar. Big, fat, glass jar with
a metal top and none of them pink, pansy
sugar packs in dainty little cups.
And come back every now and then and fill
my big fat mug and keep it hot and full.
And I don’t want to hear your waitress talk
and I don’t want to see you smile. So fill
my big fat mug and get the hell away.
I don’t want to see your face today.